Issues with Internet dating

During the past decade we have seen the explosion of online dating. With the advent of Lavalife, Plenty of Fish, Date.com and countless others people have re invented how we meet. I met someone special over a year ago and am now finished with online dating for good. Prior to that I met a few dozen women or more. Some were great people while some were just idiots. I am going to explain the problem with online dating and some experiences I had with it.

This is quite a unique time in the history of dating. In the past you met face-to-face and then got to know one another. With Internet dating you try to get to know one another by posting a few of your best pictures on a dating site and describing yourself in a very positive way. Now there is nothing wrong with having confidence and promoting yourself, however many cross the boundary between fact and fiction.
Women and men exaggerate the truth about themselves even at times going as far as actually lying about themselves. I writing this article from a man’s point of view, but I do wish to admit that from some stories I have heard of men are just as bad.

First off all I am big on physical attraction. Not that it is the only thing, but that in my opinion is the main starting point. If the attraction is not there in a physical way then it is extremely hard to develop anything more than friendship. It is extremely awkward for many people after talking online for many weeks and then when meeting in person the attraction is not there on one side. On the other hand I have found that many women are online looking for a man that does not exist in reality. They want it all; handsome, well-built, great job, and lots of money. That is the criteria for a lot of women just to get to the second date. No wonder many of them are still searching. I have certainly met my share of that type of woman online.

I have on few occasions started talking to a woman online and after a week suggest speaking on the phone or meeting for a coffee. They politely reply on msn “I don’t know you well enough yet”. I always shook my head after that response. How do you ever get to know someone unless to take the next step and talk on the phone and eventually meet them in person? Some women actually think they can get to know you by just typing back and forth continuously. What kind of fantasy are they living in? To a lot of men and women online dating is a big fantasy. You visualize an image of the other person you are chatting with based on a few pictures and what they type into the computer. Unfortunately when that big step of meeting face to face arrives (if it ever does for some people) that person most times does not match the image that is formed in the mind of that person.

To some women it is like a giant buffet. I have met a few that seem to jump from guy to guy. Why not, if you get tired of the one that you just started to get to know after a month or so, just hop back online and there are many more guys to choose from. The selection is endless and in a lot of women’s mind there is always someone better on there. Are you beginning to see why I hated online dating?

Many of the online dating sites have a section that anything goes. Married women or men looking for a relationship on the side, meetings for intimate encounter and so on were the norm on those sections. I personally never was on nor did I meet anyone from that section. On the opposite end of the spectrum some wanted just chat partners and nothing else. I don’t’ know about you, but I am too busy for virtual friends.

I have many stories I could share and could write more. But for the purpose of this blog I will keep it short. I may write some stories on the blog later on. For anyone that I may have met online that may be reading this, don’t worry I won’t use your name.

Finally, do you remember when you were 5 years old? Remember how you had imaginary friends? For a lot of people chatting online it is the same thing. They talk and are not afraid to type anything, everything is fine for them in front of their computer behind closed doors, but God forbid, if they had to make this fantasy real. It has been many years since I had imaginary friends. How about you?